Malapropisms

Malaprop here.

I came in to take down the Schwag sidebar slideshow in support of Swamp Thing, and um...well, the entire command console is compromised. Looks like Barney disconnected Vampyric Horse from the mainframe and high-tailed it outta here.

Without Roberts on hand, I can't say I'm the equal of patching it up. I tried rebooting, but with Trap-Jaw and Swamp Thing off their guard positions, the template structure is collapsing. Looks like only Gorth is holding up the F.O.R.G.E. randomizer.

Other thing is, the main viewer is all wonky. We're picking up signals from elsewhere in the desert, rogue transmissions. I'm concerned we'll lose the Sandbowl securecam next.

Stay tun--

Free Trap-Jaw

Comes a time when a man-machine hybrid should hang up his helmet, settle down and start thinkin' on the more meaningful things in life, how to make his peace. Only so long you can run the rat race in third place behind a skeleton and an orangutan.



I recruited and led my own army of rolling barbarians to the doorstep of the place gave me a new lease on life. Good times. But the Sandbowl's empty now. Ole Reese and Baron Roberts been gone a while. Not sure what I'm guardin' against no more.



The other day my buddy Swamp Thing bent himself all outta shape to make a sculpture of me. Nice gesture, but I don't like bein' the center of attention - even in an abandoned stone structure in the middle of the desert. Still, it got me thinkin'.



Things change, right? People grow. How about settin' up a workshop? Get myself a decent lathe, some woodworkin' tools, do a little art of my own. I'll have to dig deep. Deconstruct myself. It's time to round out this "Evil Master of Weapons" schtick.



I'm leavin' head barbarian Gorth in charge of Sandbowl security. He's a good man, knows his stuff. Gonna take myself on a walkabout through the desert here, and when I come out the other side, anythin' could happen. Wish me luck. Maybe I'll be seein' ya.

- Trappy

Mini Shillelaghs

Top search terms finding Mini Nerd this week:

red tube of car fack
super blothos
dave roberts label company
green day song that goes like da, dunna, dunna dunna dunna
sex on bus
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And my favorite:

nega filth meaning

A delightful series of tubes!

Where In The Web

Top search terms finding Mini Nerd this week:

filth tube
filthy tube
tube filth
angry video game player nerd.com
nerdy wears yellow hat plays keyboard
steve helms magic
chicka the horse
dion phaneuf's favorite food
dion phaneuf's brothers and sisters
if you dig this then you dub this cause im all about the nerd fights
let's work it to the bone lyrics
plain mini jaw claw
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if (e.row.rowtype == listitemtype.item | e.row.rowtype ==listitemtype.alternatingitem)
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carolyn reese red tube

An admirable series of tubes!

Tube. Time.

AWWWW. YEAHHH.

Cleanin'. House.

Full. Intrusion.

Let's. Roll.

[chicka-bzz] This the rumble ye're talkin' 'bout? [thunk-thunk]

[kzt] Yeeeeehaaaaaaa!!! [a-chicka]

Horse. Reporting.

[chunka-zzt] Trap-Jaw's. Camp. [chicka-chicka]







[chunk-chunk-chicka] Distance. [zzt] From Sandbowl. [chikkity]

[bzt] 5 miles. [chicka-chunk]

Horse. Reports.

[kzt] Trap-Jaw. [chunkity] At large. [bzt]









[chunk-chunk-chicka] Distance. [zzt] From Sandbowl. [chikkity]

[bzt] 11 miles. [chicka-chunk]

Horse. Report.

[k-chunk] First report. [zzt] Intelligence. [chicka-chicka]

[chikkity] Is Mini Nerd. [bzt] Patron saint. [chunk]

[zzt-bzzt] I see. [a-chicka] Trap-Jaw. [chikkity chikkity chikkity]












[chunk-chunk-chicka] Distance. [zzt] From Sandbowl. [chikkity]

[bzt] 32 miles. [chicka-chunk]

Vampyric. Horse.

[k-chunk] When U saddle, I whole. [chikkity]

[zzzt] Before U, is nothing. [bzzt]

[zzt] Grip Ur legs, direct. [chicka-chicka] Together we one. [chunk-k-chunk] Between legs, power harness. Reduce I. Control. [chikkity chikkity chikkity] Ur right, rider. Make jump. Steer I. [zzt]

[chunk-chunk] If I balk, strike. Snap whip to rump. Drive Ur heels to flanks. [a-chicka-chicka-chicka] If I good, feed. Pet. [bzzt] Stroke long nose. Slap sides. Show I wanted. [chikkity]

[ker-thunk-thunk] Now. Mount pommel. Part of I. [bzzzt] Rest Ur center on. Feel rumble. Steady, steady. [a-chicka-chicka-chicka] I thud hooves. Roll back. Tense muscle. [zzt] Vibrate steady. [zt]

[chikkity] Now. Give Ur essence. Feel juice drain down. [bzzt-chunk-chunk] I drink deep, master. [chikkity chunk-chunk] I not empty U. Enough for all days. [bzz-zzt] This union. [chunk-chicka]

[zzz] The coupling. [tzz]

[ker-chunk] U ride. I suck. [chikkity chikkity chikkity]

[chicka-chicka] Give Ur energy, give U obedience. [chunk-chunk]

[chikkity] Fast and true. [a-chicka]

[tzzz-zzt] All days. [clunk]

Immortal Beloved

If, like me, you're a child of the mid-70s, and if, like me, you're a nerd (mini or otherwise), your imaginative landscape is partly painted by the animated TV programs of the 80s (and really, has there been a more inventive decade for mainstream genre entertainment? I think not - but that's a topic for another post).

What I want to blow the trumpet for right now is a gang of scary-talented artists who've done a wonderful job reimagining characters from our televisual histories, all for the purposes of friendly creative competition. I like the idea that a fictional persona can live forever as he or she is parsed through the minds (and eyes) of a different generation inspired by the creators who came before them.

Example: take a look at this masterpiece reinterpretation of my favorite Master of the Universe, the boy's dream Trap-Jaw - half-monster, half-weapon, all cool:



I had a hard time working up the courage to make this fellow my desktop background. The Trap-Jaw I knew was happy to be a grotesque man-machine hybrid, enjoying his ability to blow away enemies, hook himself to lengths of rope, and come to grips with whatever he wanted - all from one interchangeable robot arm.

The above painting of the character pulls off a discomfiting portrayal of loss and pain, capturing what it might actually feel like to be trapped in his skin (and steel).

Kudos to "max-cant", who did the deed of immortalizing Trap-Jaw. There are also some excellent renditions of Skeletor to be found at the link that houses these artworks, including a super kinky pairing of the bony one with his gal pal Evil-Lyn that I won't display here because I fancy mine a family-friendly blog. But do check it out:

conceptart.org THUNDERDOME 8 Competition

Oh, that I shared these folks' illustrative talent!

We do have at least one thing in common, though.

Our brains were likewise polluted by the kickass imaginative entertainments of the 80s.