Blorthos Responds
I am Blorthos Malamakk. You are not. So, I answer mail.
Dear Blorthos,
You missed Tukx's birthday. That's the second year in a row. Yes, Tukx. Remember him? He looks like this:
You might notice the resemblance to me. That's because we have the same mother. She's asked I not send a picture of her, but if that thick skull of yours needs its usual swift kick to start some "memorizings", think back about twenty-five years to Silvermoon, deep in Murder Row, a tavern open late, a little too much ale, and boof! Nine months later, out drop Tukx and I.
Somehow I doubt we were the only ones dropped. In fact, I know for sure. You see, I've taken the liberty of starting an ongoing research project. Because it's rude to miss someone's birthday. Especially if you're responsible for their birth.
Look. I know you're a visual sort, so I've included lots of pictures. You don't have to read all the words. Just try to pronounce the names, and maybe have someone write down the spellings. And the dates. Don't forget the dates. Those are important.
It's not too much to ask, is it? Why not put some effort into an internet website for beings who are actually related to you? You're a minotaur of means. Spare a few gold once in a while and send something nice to those who'll survive you in these feral warrens. At the very least, grunt a token hello or flare your nostrils in interest. It's the thought that counts.
I'll be adding to the list as I find more. Don't take that as an invitation to add to my workload. For the sake of creatures already in this world, and others yet unborn, you might consider maintaining that male pride of yours without retaining the oft-used equipment between your fuzzy loins. There's no shame in a judicious neutering. We're family. We can keep a secret.
Don't make me come out to that dingy little "Sandbowl" you're hiding in with all my brothers and sisters in tow. I know how much you hate parties. Still, there are ways to show you care without providing hospitality for all 112 of us...and counting.
I suggest you make use of them.
Your daughter,
Lindinha
(And all the rest.)
Daughter,
You Blorthos daughter?
Tukx girl too?
Feh!
Can't remember make lovings with blood elf. Strange creature have almost no hair, not appeal.
But do like ale. Maybe happen.
And. If daughter, should not talk this way to father. Want gift? Show respect. Obey wishings of elder, maybe get carings. Not forget, Blorthos flare nostril when think right - not ever else.
Stop cry, weak lady. Father firm. And Blorthos see now, lady get some trait from him.
Blorthos agree read your interworld scroll. Meet many by-blow, if force. Father spread much lovings in lands afar, so probably true your list.
But. How dare suggest stop rutting practice? Blorthos army continue, grow larger. One day, daughter, family rule universe.
For now, Sandbowl nice kingdom. Quiet here. No stupid peoples ruin nap time.
Okay come visit.
Carings,
Labels: blorthos malamakk, games, sandbowl
posted by Stephen Reese at
9:48 PM
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