Undead

Earlier this year was the first time I saw Ed Wood.

My dear friend Lisa, an avowed Johnny Depp fan, marked it as the only of his movies she didn't like. Ditto for Tim Burton.

I couldn't feel more the opposite. I think it's easily Burton's best, and Depp's top performance to boot. Too often, I see Johnny's eyes inside the character he's playing, and it ends up as caricature because I notice how he much he's enjoying it.

Here, I bought him as the passionate, ambitious, and blessedly naive B-movie auteur Edward D. Wood Jr. Better yet, I was consumed by the masterful portrayal of our most venerable creature of the night, Bela Lugosi, by Academy Award-winning Best Supporting Actor Martin Landau. Lugosi was a collaborator of Wood's, and in Burton's biopic, the friendship between the two men is an emotional anchor that holds a lot of silliness together.

When Halloween crept upon me this year, I decided to remix one of the songs that had haunted me most across my celebrated Octobers. In choosing the song, it became clear I could attempt tribute threefold: to the post-punk musicians in question, Bauhaus; to their muse, Bela; and to the performer who channeled the classic horror star with such respect and dignity, Landau.

So Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus leads to

Bela Lugosi Lives via Mini Nerd.

Thank you, Lisa, for the gift of your Ed Wood DVD.

And thank you to everyone else who came trick-or-treating on our virtual doorstep this Halloween, especially those sent by Dr. John, who was kind enough to award Mini Nerd site of the day. I'm honored, flattered, and grateful for all the new visitors. I hope you each stick around, to see where we take the site in days to come.

First up: Down South wrapup.

Stay tooned.

Grooveyard

Yes, Halloween is over.

Yes, I'm in denial.

I've also had another one of those busy weeks that delayed my posting the final two entries in this year's monster mashup. So please bear with me as I extend Halloween to Halloweek, and take these next few days to complete the quintet.

About this first of the final two posts: I cannot take credit for the title. I owe it to this consummate performer, arguably one of our finest Canuck celebrities:



Rest his soul, Billy Van was responsible for some of my earliest (and most inspirational) childhood media memories, in the form of The Hilarious House of Frightenstein, the trippiest, most wildly imaginative monster variety show I can think of (and honestly, I can't think of any others, so 'nuff said - this was sui generis):



Such an impression it had on me that I scribbled out my own comic-book ripoff called Super Monstrosities, and "hosted" a low-budget, bedroom-floor version of the program with the aid of a Snake Mountain microphone and my sister providing extra voices, particularly that of Grizelda - whom Van, I should mention, played on Frightenstein, along with almost all the other characters:



One of the notable exceptions to Van's one-man-cast was the poetically inclined Vincent Price, who provided the rhyming interstitials between segments as Van presumably changed costumes and personalities into the next character he'd play...



Such as the Wolfman (read: Wolfman Jack), who deejayed a spooky set called The Grooveyard while dancing in front of an oscillating tie-dyed background that'd surely cause intense paranoid experiences if viewed on mushrooms or ganja (and I'm not convinced Van wasn't on either while actually taping these segments - his haphazard, seemingly improvised style suggests assistance from some foreign substance or other).



To bring this meandering preamble as full-circle as I can manage, I've chosen Grooveyard as the title for this post because a huge part of Halloween, for me, is connected to music - and assorted scary sound effects too.

The love of sound effects I owe to a spectacular LP of nightmarish aural environments produced by Disney to accompany its equally excellent Haunted Mansion ride. The latter I had the pleasure of revisiting some years ago as an "adult" and, aside from the cacophony of kids SCREECHING in the elongated elevator as it began its dire descent, it retained a lot of power for me.

I haven't had a chance to revisit the album yet (sadly, there's no record player in my vicinity), but I must thank rreavell of eBay for selling me a copy. I'd lost my original somewhere around becoming a teenager; from then on, its role in mine and my sister's early Halloweens had become mythic. I'm thrilled to have it back!



For more recent haunting soundscapes, I've turned to the truly frightening "music" of Lustmord to accompany my front-yard decoration and front-door dispensal of candy. Turns out this stuff is usually too unnerving to entice children into those makeshift graveyards I've assembled (especially the one erected with an ex who was a fellow ardent perpetrator of All Hallows mischief). If you wanna dip your toe in Lustmord's deep well of horrific noise, I invite you to play this LP somewhere ALONE, with the lights off:



The other iconic collection of terrifying tunes that's been a part of Halloween celebrations for nigh on half my life, is a mixtape put together by my uncle Rod, for his beloved (my uncle Tim), while the two were separated by several states on this, the holiday they now celebrate together every year with yard decoration, nostalgic collectibles, and an assortment of fiendish foods!

Its origins are romantic, then, but its tracks are decidedly dark in tone - and they've scored all my nights roaming the streets of whatever city happened to be nearby in search of the Best-Dressed Halloween House (for which I'd present an award to the unsuspecting, usually hesitant owner) with my car (or van's) stereo cranked to full and blaring black beats from Rod's mix.

I won't post these songs here for your consumption, but I'll include the tracklist in the hopes you try yourself to find at least a few tunes. It's worth the search, and the mood you can establish for your own night of tricks and treats:

1) Everyday is Halloween - Ministry
2) Halloween - Siouxsie and the Banshees
3) Halloween - Japan
4) Bela Lugosi's Dead - Bauhaus
5) Love Like Blood - Killing Joke
6) Blood of Tin - Lydia Lunch
7) Mechanical Flattery - Lydia Lunch
8) Gloomy Sunday - Lydia Lunch
9) Tied & Twist - Lydia Lunch
10) Intro & Main Title from Phantasm
11) Main Title from Night of the Living Dead
12) Fear of Ghosts - The Cure
13) Crucify Me - Moev
14) The Devil Does Drugs - My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult
15) Angels on a Balcony - Blondie

One selection that wasn't included in the above mix but really should have been is a ditty called Be My by St Che. It's a decent early industrial dance record with samples from a very chilling story called The Exquisite Act, read by Sian Phillips for the Royal Shakespeare Company. I would love to track this track down; for now, I'll be content with my tape copy.

And you may notice an appearance in the above tracklist by the most important band of my adolescence, My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult. Last year around this time I put together a megamix of their campy, creepy late 80s/early 90s period, which was a soundtrack not only for Halloween but also many an angst-filled night during my regular teenaged life. I did up this mix for my buddy Dave, a fellow fan. We once waited 'til two in the morning in downtown Toronto for the band and its blasphemous concert paraphernalia (e.g. t-shirts we'd happily buy before soundcheck) to clear customs and reach the venue where they were scheduled to play that evening. Unfortunately, we were too young to drive cars and had to leave before Groovie Mann and Buzz McCoy took to the stage - the final 2 AM TTC bus was our only way home.

Speaking of taking to the stage, one of my favorite horror comedies has made its way to Broadway, complete with musical (and sung vocal!) accompaniment. I couldn't be more pleased, and really hope it travels to a town where I can easily see it (if not sit in the first few rows to be drenched with spurts of fake blood - the over-the-top gore so endemic to this most revered of cult classics, I hear, remains fully intact in the stage version). Ladies and gentleman, I give you Evil Dead: The Musical.



I think that about covers it for this year's Grooveyard, but I've got one more post to make in the Halloween cycle that I'll hint at by saying its inspiration can be found within this post, and its dedication will be to this good fellow and his work:



After that's here, I'll reluctantly give up the ghost(s) and put away the pumpkins...

For now.

Hallowh'at?

It's just shy of The Witching Hour, but that matters little.

A sad few of us are WORKING tonight, which chills me to the bone.

It's still better than worrying about work, which my buddy Dave is doing. And yet, he finds time to carve a pumpkin that does a fabulous job of imitating a Beholder.

Check this, then:



And this:



Me, I'm at home WORKING and drinking gin and eating ANIMAL CRACKERS, my crappy excuse for treats on this particular All Hallow's Eve. But note: it's only midnight.

And there's more to come.

Zombie Pride

There are many reasons why this is such a great city to live in.

Here is but one:

Marginalized minority groups are welcome to celebrate their individuality and uniqueness on given days by parading their respective unnatural lifestyle choices in full view of the general public. Certain established or traditionalist members of the community may be offended at these brash displays of diversity, but I argue the overall health of any metropolis is preserved by embracing such events.

So it goes without saying, I was there the first time my people strode the streets of Cowtown. And so was my camera.

Without further ado, I give you the first annual ZOMBIE WALK:



Just an ordinary mass of listless, jobless teens?




Think again!




Gad, the youth of today. Loitering,
sucking back sugar water with no
regard for their health or longevity,
lacking even such basic means as
ambition, motivation, knees for their
jeans, buttons for their shirts...
a beating heart in their chests.




Even reputable professionals have turned
to this slovenly way of non-life.




A little pop music Where's Waldo? for the after-life set:
Can you spot the Roger Daltrey and Glenn Danzig zombies?
I think there's even a Village Person in there.




This guy misheard his biological imperative to
eat "braaaaaaaaaains..." and opted for the
vegetarian alternative: "braaaaanches..."




This gal really creeped me out.




But these fetching twins I'd ask on a date any time.




Now, this fella didn't object to my
zombie-paparazzi ways at first...




But then he took an unhealthy liking to me.




Despite my initial hesitation,
we forged a fast friendship.




Turns out he's a real sweetheart.




So we went for a pint with some friends of his.




Certain guests were too impatient to
wait for service and instead chose
cannibalism as their appetizer option.




Even zombie gals take the time to
ensure they look their best. Check out
the fine makeup jobs on these hotties.




Though the guys, as usual, go out 'as is'.




But lo: occasional fiends showed a touch of class
and drew many appreciative looks from the ladies.




My buddy, on the other hand, had his advances rebuffed...




And didn't take it too well.


Remember, folks: zombies have feelings too!

...

And this, fellow corpses, was only last year.

2006 saw an even more impressive turnout, though sadly, I was unable to join my bleeding brethren this time around.

No matter. I can't get my fill of photos. So if you're like me, you'll enjoy the following murder of sites with wonderful pics from both last year's inaugural lurch, and this year's sophomore shuffle.

Out of respect, I'll link to them in the zombie native tongue. Peace and long death, brothers and sisters:


aaauuuurrrrrruuaaaaarrrghhh

muuuuuaaaaoooooorrrrmmmmggg

oooaaaaarrhhhhhhhhhhfffmmmh

gggggggggggggggggggggggg

rrraaa rrrraaaa rrrrraaaa rrraaaaaahhhhh

ssssssgggggrrrlllllmmggggssss

bbbbrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

ooookkkll oookkkllll ooookklllllaaaaaauuuuuu

uurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

rorororororrrrrrrrooroorr

asssmmmmlllllrrrrssssslllgghhllfffkkk


The night is young! More to come!

Braaaaaaaaains

And so it begins...

It has been established that persons who have recently died, have been returning to life, and committing acts of murder.

A widespread investigation of reports from funeral homes, morgues, and hospitals has concluded that the unburied dead...
are coming back to life, and seeking human victims.

Your only hope...

Stay tuned! The sun has yet to set, and more is to come...

Runaway Pumpkin

I like to keep these digs current, but I'm not finished blogging through my experience Down South yet, and there's still a bunch of past news to note before Mini Nerd drags itself back to the present. But I'm enforcing another (sadly, short) intermission to recognize a holiday of great importance to me: All Hallows.

It runs neck-in-neck with Christmas for my favorite celebratory time of year (make of that pagan/Christian dichotomy what you will), and usually I dedicate the entire month of October to savoring its creepy vibe. Unfortunately, I've been too busy these days to add a 'grave' prefix to any of the yards available to me, and I've no office space to decorate with knick-knacks both seasonal and spooky. So, I'm making do with a Mini Nerd makeover and a few upcoming posts to satiate that inner ghoul.

For a thematic segue - from discussing my Down South photos to some trickery and treats over the next little while - I'm using a pair of images snapped while on vacation with Mike and Carolyn. We saw this post's namesake nearly every day as we sped past him on our way to historic destinations and comic shops galore, and then again on our way home. But not once could I capture him in-camera to my liking, so jumpin' fast was this Jack-flash.

Candy corn in the previous post was a passable preview, but now I'll let good 'ole Jack-O bring home this year's monster mashup.