Gypsum Snoozer

Certain folk know I have a hard go of it falling asleep. One time it even took two and a half months. During that ordeal, I tried every recorded technique I could find, plus several of my own conception - with little success, I'll add.

Over the past year of working construction with the Board Brothers, however, I've discovered a new method.

At breaks (of which we get the standard three - two shorts in the morning and afternoon, one long at lunch), eating or drinking are usually the order of business. But unlike those breaks I've enjoyed when working, say, retail in the past (and especially at an office), while pausing during the drywalling of a home, we also REST.

That's right. Sleep. For 15 or 30 minutes.

Serious, satisfying, sinful naps.

Where, you may ask, does a construction worker lay his head for a few winks in the middle of an unfinished basement?

On drywall, of course.

Now: I'm the kinda guy who likes firm mattresses. A cozy, sink-into couch is fine for a brief stint in dreamland, but if I'm staying the night, I want support.

Well, in getting horizontal on a nice, fresh, 8-foot sheet of drywall, I found a truly reliable soporific.

Flatter than a futon. Stiffer than a yoga mat.

And damn easy to nod off on.

Last night I spent a few hours laying awake thinking about sentences for this blog post. I was trying to come up with a silly Princess & The Pea analog for a towering stack of drywall sheets and what treasure they might conceal underneath - to no avail.

Woulda been better to crash and let my subconscious sort it out.

And I might've pulled it off, too.

If I'd just tossed that pillow aside, pictured my mattress a little thinner and way more rigid, and conjured the imaginary smell of gypsum to soothe me to sleep.