Blorthos Recommends

I am Blorthos Malamakk. You are not. So, I tell you what to buy.

Time of season come when you get thing for who not kill you.

Must get good thing, or should die.

Look close, see answer. Sing along if want.

Cousin Farblachht, pretty young one of family, model thing today.

First Day Christmas

Puny Hammer of Laughable Damage



Poky Knife of Silly Puncture



These thing waste of gold but good for child, maybe woman. Put in stocking for joke. Even pretty Farblachht not make look good.



Two Day Christmas

Stylish Dagger of Attractive Slaughter



Studded Mace of Sudden Whompage



Blorthos fell many Morden-Urg with set. All hit to ugly face and stinking body produce strong thud, good destruction of enemy. Cousin Farblachht like also.



Christmas Third One

Questionable Blade of Fluttery Slapping



Stupid sword look like fish. Still, kill easy most Ha'Ku, some Vulk.



Four Days Christmas

Generic Sword of Reliable Slashing



Your grandpa wield this stick, drop most ancient Bracken Defender, Boarbeast. Collectible, get two and maybe match well-dress cousin.



Five Christmases

Spiked Pounder of Certain Mangling



Put dent or hole in enemy fast, sometime see inside tunnel open spill. Good, recommend. HAHA look how small Farblachht look! He need two Pounder even graze Maltratar or Sand Reaper, never mind angry Kragen! HAHA!



Christmas Six

Serrated Paddle of Hesitant Reaming



What? More fish sword? Stupid, think. And right. But give shiny color, so fashion prince cousin like. Oh, I make him mad now! Want unleash rage on frozen enemy! HAHA, not hit me Farblachht, I on internet tube serie!



Christmas Time Seven

Horned Club of Sociable Battery



If attend special holiday banquet where give gift back forth, not do worse than two decorative club Farblachht like so much he rest on slumber mound with. Be talk of party, then slay quick all Thrusk, Scrub Boar, even Rotten Twisted Shail.



Eight Day

Legendary Pike of Absolute Wreckage



Name all. Jabbing Tharva. Tacklak Basher. Kurgan. Outcast Vasp. Sangor, Thrine, Naldrun. Lertisk, Flaypick, Durvla. Klask! BRALL!!! Not matter, any. All die if face Legendary Pike. Much gold, great honor. Why poor Farblachht look so sad? He not like backdrop. Pout lip like baby.



Somehow, this better. Now Farblachht pose with power.



Ten of Christmas

Piledriving Axe of Great Death



Stuff getting good. Blorthos stand behind recommend Piledriving Axe for dispatch Gorgak, Adolescent Taugrim mostly. Farblachht say Plagued Larvax, Boggrot too. Not agree, though if hit Kurtle or Skitter hard enough, explode like festive ornament. Weapon easy for wrap also, person never guess.



Christmas to Eleven

Dual Katana of Frenzied Dismemberment



Hurry fast and now. Katana fly off shelf. Many close relative sure be dead by daybreak when happy gift owner joyful fling about effective weapon. Cousin Farblachht so happy model glowing sword, he on top Christmas world!



Twelfth

Mammoth Sledge of Swift Flattening



Younger, prettier cousin get open portal to good vacation destination, no gold taken. Why not Blorthos deserve? Make whole post for human blog site, take long! No reward, not even health potion. Here stupid Farblachht model best Christmas weapon, Mammoth Sledge. It kill very good if any enemy near, but on island, nothing. So Blorthos recommend Farblachht hit self hard and again until make hit points zero, need magical lady for revive. Merry celebration.



Enough,